Writing Mentor Appointments

If you are an Exceptional Scholar Program student through Harmony Ed at Davinci Academy, you have found the right place to make an appointment with the Writing Mentor!

You will need a free Google Calendar account, and then you are good to go. Click here to visit my appointment page, go to the date you are wanting, and click on the appointment time. It's that easy! I am starting with 15 minute slots, and we will see how it goes from there. 

Expert advice & mentoring on any writing assignment or project that you are working on. Revision is my friend! It can be yours too.  

If the link above doesn't work for you, here is the whole ugly thing! Just copy and paste!

https://www.google.com/calendar/selfsched?sstoken=UUMzeFhEYnV6bWRsfGRlZmF1bHR8OTAyOGM4YmNmMGMxOGMzNDhhOWJhZWYyMDUzYjQ2NDY

~ Julie

435 723 8262 home; 435 740 4335 cell
CollegeEssayMentor.blogspot.com

If I Were an Anonymous Blogger

If I were an anonymous blogger, I'd blog (uninhibited) about my odd health problems, my imperfect children, my sense of style (Do I have one? Can I call it frumpy?), my worries and triumphs, my weight, my children's not-so-perfect hygiene habits, my insecurities, my failures in the kitchen. Anonymity makes the internet amazing -- and chilling. I would never talk about these kinds of personal things on Facebook. Facebook is false and frighteningly un-anonymous. People say things they would never say aloud. In public. They let it all hang out. 

But they are in public. Whether they like it or not. Anonymity doesn't really exist.

You can't be incognito on the internet. Type it. It's published. Forever. Even if you try to take it down or try to recall that insidious email you truly regret sending. Cached and saved and passed around, our faux pas will never go away. 

I wonder about the social health of today's children who are growing up on Facebook. 

I found it rather intriguing to "find" old friends and reconnect on FB. But if I had always kept in touch -- in that intimate fakey facebooky way -- with my childhood and adolescent friends, would I have ever grown up? 

Maybe my world would not be what it is today. Maybe I would still be the girl who graduated high school in 1988 with a Presidential Scholarship to BYU thinking that she had life all figured out, the girl who had trouble setting goals for Personal Progress because she couldn't think of anything to work on! (After all, she was close to perfect.) The girl who thought she was rather grown up when she got married a year later.

If Facebook had existed in 1988, maybe I would not have married at 18, had 5 children every 2 years starting at 19, moved 17 times, started home schooling, met all the fabulous people in all the fabulous places I've lived, felt so grateful (a couple days ago) to have spent 5 Christmases in a row in the same house(!), grown a healthy distance apart from the high school mentality, grown up at all. Maybe I wouldn't have taken up the viola again after all those babies -- maybe I wouldn't have quit playing it in the first place. But all these experiences and choices have shaped who I am, how I perceive the world, how I make decisions, what I think about, and where I like to go for dinner out -- when we get to go! 

If Facebook had existed in 1988, maybe I would not have gained so much from solitude (believe me, there is solitude -- or at least loneliness -- in raising 5 small children); but, then again, maybe I would not have given so little to those around me. Maybe I would have been less inside myself -- maybe I would have been a better neighbor, a better friend. 

I wish I could write about all these things anonymously. Bare my soul. Help someone along the way -- or at least give them an Erma Bombeck laugh or two. 

Or maybe I can be me without anonymity. Both my adoring readers would figure me out eventually, even if I wrote anonymously.

Family

Family is important. Family is everything. My family is kind of screwed up, but not as screwed up as the New FamilySearch has it! I am frustrated, and never have time to work it out in the daytime. I've asked knowledgeable people what to do when a woman is married to her husband - and needs to be sealed to her child which is actually herself! Ack! 

The most knowledgeable say to call the toll free number and ask for help, but I haven't actually talked to my local consultants yet. How silly of me to put it off! 

Now is the time, this is the place, and I am the one to be setting it straight! What am I waiting for?

Thanks for listening. 


12/28/2010 PS I did (finally) straighten it all out. It was a WONDERFUL feeling.

Clouds by day, Fire by night

Isaiah 4:5-6.
"And the Lord will create upon every dwelling place of mount Zion, and upon her assemblies, a cloud and smoke by day, and the shining of a flaming fire by night: for upon all the glory shall be a defence. And there shall be a tabernacle for a shadow in the daytime from the heat, and for a place of refuge, and for a covert from storm and from rain."

It's the cloud by day and the fire by night, the presence of God in the lives of the people of Zion. It struck me during Sunday School this week that this sign of protection and leadership, this sign of God's love, is not just available to the Children of Israel during their wanderings in the wilderness as they learn what they need to learn in preparation for living in the Promised Land. It's not just available to the Brother of Jared and his friends & family while they travel through the wilderness to the Promised Land. 

It's available to me, to my family, as we follow our path through the wilderness of our lives. 

That's what jumped out at me. I can just see it in my mind's eye - the tangible presence of God there on top of my house. What a blessing. God loves us. Individually. He cares for us through our day-to-day trials. 

From the CTA Writing Mentor: Five Bites & Eight Triangles

Greetings!

 

College Tuition Assistance Students: Here's a fun story. It really happened to me, just a few weeks ago. It will be posted on the CollegeEssayMentor.blogspot.com blog, and you are welcome to check it out and make a comment!

 

Read it especially if you're feeling a little overwhelmed by all these applications!

 

 

Five Bites and Eight Triangles

 

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to bring my cousin's children home with me a for a few hours at the end of a four week holiday while he and his wife spent some time alone in Salt Lake City before they went home to England the following day. We really had fun. Since I met them downtown Salt Lake City, we rode Trax in the free zone, and we visited the lobby of the Clark Planetarium which has a giant pendulum and the coolest marble-works-type contraption you've ever seen (the photo in the link doesn't do it justice).

 

After we drove back to my house we made personal pizzas. I figured that if I only got to have these five children in my home once every two years, we would make it memorable. Everyone liked the idea of pizza except the middle child - and only boy. Samuel informed me that he doesn't like anything except peanut butter and jelly. His sisters corroborated. I asked him if strawberry jam was okay, and he said it was his favorite. He's only about as tall as the top of my kitchen counter, but he also really wanted to make his own sandwich.

 

Well, I was busy making pizza dough and pizza sauce and chopping up toppings, so I thought that was a grand idea. I gave him a plate, a knife, and two slices of homemade bread. He went to work. I watched out of the corner of my eye. It was a labor of love! He put peanut butter and jam on both sides of the sandwich, and it was thick!  When he finally decided he might be done, I quietly spread it to the edges and squished it together. The crust had to come off. Then I asked if he wanted it cut. "Eight Triangles" was his answer, so eight triangles he received!

 

I went back to my pizza preparation. One of his younger sisters amazed me!  She wanted everything, including peppers and mushrooms, on her pizza. Six pizzas went into the oven, and I had time to look around. Lo and behold, Samuel's sandwich was still sitting there! 

 

"Sam, don't forget to eat your sandwich."

 

"Oh, I'm not very hungry," said he in his charming English accent.

 

I put on my stern voice. "Sam," I quipped, "Go sit down and eat five bites right now!"

 

He went to sit down, and I busied myself with the next batch of pizza that would be going into the oven soon.

 

With my five children, and my five little cousins, there was a lot of activity in that kitchen. The next time I saw him, I followed up. "Sam, did you eat five bites?"

 

"Yes!  I ate the whole thing," he said.

 

Suddenly, Sam was my hero. He had eaten the whole thing, even when he had only gone in for five bites.

 

I realized that I need to quit seeing the whole sandwich all the time. When I'm overwhelmed with Eight Triangles, especially with the crust cut off and enough peanut butter and jam for three sandwiches, I can always start with just five bites. That's not so hard. And who knows! Maybe I'll look down soon and the plate will be empty!

 

--
Julie Gardner
CollegeEssayMentor.googlepages.com
LincolnYouthSymphony.googlepages.com
435.723.8262

From the CTA Essay Mentor: There's Always More I Could Do...

...but I'm doing the best I can!

 

So can you!

 

Greetings!

 

School has started and there is a chill in the air, at least at night. Our daily temperatures in Utah are no longer pushing 100, and everyone that worked with me until they earned Final Approval on their Common Application Essay and Short Answer are breathing a huge sigh of relief right now...

 

But some of you have not even started yet. What's with that?

 

Essay Season has begun in earnest. With that in mind, I would like to tell you a few things:

• I still work on Monday and Thursday. If I don't finish my Monday work, I work again on Tuesday. Likewise, if I don't finish my Thursday work, I work again on Friday. I try not to work on Wednesday or Saturday, but sometimes I have to. I never work on Sunday.

 

• Missed My Deadlines? Please keep working in the order I recommend:
1. Common Application Long & Short
2. Non-common-app Long
3. Common app supplements.
• From experience, I have concluded that starting with the common application essay and short answer lays a fabulous foundation for the other essays you will be required to write. Your essay writing skills will improve as you continue.
• There will never need to be as many revisions on the 3rd essay you write as there were on the first or second.

 

• You may expect a prompt response from me on all your essays. If you send an essay over the weekend and you haven't heard from me by Wednesday, please follow up. If you expect to hear from me by Friday and haven't heard, please follow up. Never wait more than a week to follow up if you haven't heard back from me.
• Sometimes Cyberspace Eats Essays!

 

• Covered In Red Ink may seem discouraging, but it is not a Bad Thing! I know some of you have been frustrated by my bold editing and comments. It is simply part of the Do Again until we have Quality Work and earn Final Approval system. 
• It is part of the writing process; if the Red Ink weren't there, I would not be doing my job, nor would you be getting your money's worth.

 

• It is extremely frustrating to spend time writing comments and giving valuable advice to receive an essay revision that seemingly ignores them. This doesn't happen very often, but when it does, I assume that you simply can't see my comments. 
• If you receive an essay from me without visible comments, then you need to adjust the settings in your MS Word program. There will always be at least one comment! Comments are not just editing - insertions and deletions - in the text of the essay. They are happy little letters I write to you, and I put a lot of time into them!
• I can't tell you what they'll look like on your version of Word (sometimes they're in the margin, sometimes they pop up in little bubbles when you hover your mouse, and sometimes they are in a separate split window below), but they are always there!  Please read them and do as I ask, even if it's hard! You Can Do Hard Things! 
• Here is one way to check your computer for Comments Compatibility: On the downloads page, I have added a PDF file of the test document. There is a comment, an insertion, and a deletion in this document. If you download both the DOC and the PDF, you will see how it looks in your version of MS Word, and you will also see a PDF of what it looks like for me!

Happy Writing!  Let's get down to business... After all, it's essay season!

 

If this email does not make sense to you, please re-read my website; if that adds to your confusion, please contact me!

--

Julie Gardner

CollegeEssayMentor.googlepages.com

LincolnYouthSymphony.googlepages.com

435.723.8262

July Expectations -- Fair Warning From Your Essay Mentor

Greetings!

I have seen some fantastic potential in your mock essays. You are to be commended!  There are a few mock essays still to be submitted in the next week, but then we're past the practice time and down to serious writing.

If for some reason you haven't participated yet, now is the time to start. You need to submit your common application rough draft essay in the next two weeks. I do not want all of them on the last day of that window... July 7th! If you do that to me, I will personally... find... some way to take revenge! :)  So, look at your calendar, or better yet, start this weekend, and work on it until you don't know what else to change, and then submit it to me. We'll send essays back and forth, and you may surprise yourself, because it's fun!

Your common application Personal Essay and Short Answer both need to be finished by the end of July. There is also a deadline at the end of August for all long essays, and the end of September and October for all supplements and short answer essays. More information is available here.

But the Common Application Project now... in July... is by far the most important assignment you will do for me. This is where you grow exponentially in your ability to write a good college entrance essay. This is when you get good at it so it will only get easier as the summer turns to fall.

Remember, I work on a "Do Again" vs "Final Approval" basis, so it is difficult for me to tell you how long it will take to finish an essay. Be prompt in your revisions. Make a goal of a 24 hour turn-around! Be willing to work hard and answer tough questions. If I don't specifically say "Final Approval" assume that it's a "Do Again" and work on it, then re-submit.

You are truly fortunate to be doing this in the summer! Let's make it a memorable essay summer... I promise I won't take all your time. Just most of it!

Don't be the person who emails me in November and says "so what am I supposed to do?" I probably won't answer!

Do it now... You won't regret it!

Julie

PS Notice below that there are two common application prompts. The first is the long essay. We shoot for about 500-550 words, and the second is the 150-word-maximum short answer. You may choose to write both essays together, or do one at a time. Whatever you do, both need to be finished by the end of July. You know yourself better than I know you!

Common Application Personal Essay Prompt

This personal statement helps us become acquainted with you in ways different from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself. We are looking for an essay that will help us know you better as a person and as a student. Please write an essay (250 words minimum) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. Please indicate your topic by checking the appropriate box.

• Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
• Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you. 
• Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
• Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.
• A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
• Topic of your choice.
  

Common Application Short Answer Prompt

Please briefly elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience). Attach your response on a separate sheet (150 words or fewer).

--
Julie Gardner
435.723.8262

Mock Essays and Revisions

Greetings!

I have been accepting Mock Essays for about a week and a half, and I want to clarify Mock Essay protocol. I have received about 1/4 of the number of submissions I was expecting from you.

If, for some reason, you are unable to submit your Mock Essay on or before your due date, common courtesy would suggest that you let me know so I might fill your slot with a new student, or someone whose date does not work for them.

I have had a few students who have worked with me on this, and I greatly appreciate their courtesy! They have found that I am really nice.

I will send a reminder before your essay is due, but if you do not submit your essay, I do not follow up. I am not a babysitter, I am a consultant. If you want to take advantage of this service, by all means, do it, but I will not beg, plead, or coerce. 

I know this is a busy time of year, and that you are facing the end of school and finals. I also know that in the summer you will be working, or at camp, or on a trip with your family. There will always be a conflict. To take advantage of this service, you need to make a choice and stick with it. If we lived next door to each other, I would offer chocolate, but we don't, so offer yourself an incentive each time you send in an essay, or accept the incentive of self-satisfaction stemming from a job well done.

Now, as you prepare to receive my response to your mock essay, realize that each response is personal. It will be tailored to the essay you send. Realize that there will always be some -- or many -- suggestion(s) from me for improvement. Realize that revision is a change in the fundamental nature of the essay, and that "revise" often means "start over."

I have been truly impressed with the mock essays that have come to me so far, even when I have to send radical comments and requests for fundamental revisions, and I only wish that more of you would see the importance of participating. You don't actually have to act on those suggestions. After all, it is the Mock Essay.... But it is a fantastic opportunity. Don't waste it.

One more thing: If you are one of the people who didn't send in an essay on your prescribed date, make time for it and send it anyway. I will get to it, and I promise you, it will be worth it!


Have a lovely day,
Julie
CollegeEssayMentor.googlepages.com
--
Julie Gardner
435.723.8262

Essay Mentor Checking In

Greetings!

I am writing to let everyone know that I have been up to my eyeballs in a Shakespeare play over the last couple of weeks. Beginning Monday, May 26, I will be back "online" and I will have time to respond thoroughly to everyone's emails which I have been carefully saving in a special folder!  Please accept my apologies, and expect to hear from me this Monday.

Have a wonderful day,
Julie

--
Julie Gardner
435.723.8262

Mock Essay Assignments Sent Tonight

Greetings!

I have recently finished sending everyone individualized Mock Essay assignments. The mock essay is a valuable tool for me and for you. I get a chance to see how well you write, and you get a chance to see what my feedback is like. It is extremely important that you take the mock essay seriously by submitting your best work.

Please let me know right away if the due date you have been assigned is impossible for you (like if you will be on a goodwill tour of Tasmania or something), and also let me know what other part of June works for you. All mock essay due dates are in June since we will start earnestly writing real essays in July.

If you received an assignment that doesn't make sense to you, please send it back to me. I will fix it. I put a lot of dates in a lot of emails tonight, so please let me know if there is a mistake... Especially if I sent an email to the wrong person.

In closing, here is a little wisdom from my past experience:

The Learning Curve

There is a magical learning curve with these essays. Unsurprisingly, the task gets easier with time.

Your first attempt may be a total bomb (most first attempts are, but we learn from them).

That's fine. There will be time to work on it.

As you continue, you will find that instead of taking 3 or 4 or even 5 drafts to get a "final approval," it only takes 2. You will start reading prompts more carefully, writing more descriptively, and thinking like a college application essayist.

But the only way to take advantage of this is to jump in with two feet. This mock essay is your perfect chance to start climbing the cliff. It will be worth getting an early start. And the more essays you write, the easier it will get. You will become an expert!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please contact me with any questions.

Sincerely,
Julie Gardner
CollegeEssayMentor.googlepages.com
435.723.8262

Fwd: Questionnaire Deadline Extension

Just a clarification: I mean MONDAY, April 14! Sorry!

Julie

Questionnaire Deadline Extension

Greetings!

I have enjoyed hearing from those of you who have already responded to the questionnaire. Thank you for being so prompt!

I have chosen to extend the questionnaire deadline from Saturday, April 12 to Sunday, April 14 at 10:00 a.m. MDT (Mountain Daylight Time). This should give you a little extra time over the weekend to work on it. In reality, I will not be looking at your responses before Monday. I hope the extra time helps.

Have a fabulous weekend, and please contact me with any questions.

Julie
College Essay Mentor Website
--
Julie Gardner
435.723.8262

From Your New Essay Mentor -- Questionnaire due April 12

Greetings!

You may have despaired of hearing from me. After all, you were expecting to hear from me by the end of March! (On my watch it's 11:45... March 31, so I made it!)

In past years I have sent out a gargantuan introductory email and overwhelmed everyone. This year, I have been working on a website just for you. By breaking up what I normally attempt to cover in the introductory email, I hope to prevent that overwhelmed feeling. I hope you like it, and find gems in it again and again.

I have created a blog as well that will archive all the emails I send to you as a group. This will give you access to past emails including tips, looming deadlines, and news. As soon as it has proven its worth (like actually posting the email that I'm about to send), I will add the think for it to the homepage.

So, without further ado, this email will be the first post on my new blog, and the College Essay Mentor website is published -- up and running for your enthusiastic perusal. I expect you to spend time with it, get to know it, ask me questions about it. Let me know if you find any typos on it!
 
I must thank my son Josh for some timely technical support as I've attempted to iron out "final" details tonight.

Your job right now is to spend some time on the following questionnaire. My goal with these questions is to get to know you a little.

I will also be sending out Mock Essay Assignments to each of you by the end of April. Deadlines for these will be individually assigned.

So, here is the Questionnaire. I expect to hear from each of you by the end of next week...

The deadline for this questionnaire is April 12. I will be printing your questionnaire on the back of the sheet I use to keep track of your progress, and I truly look forward to reading your answers. Spend at least 23.5 minutes, and no more than 5 hours. Put some thought into your answers!  I purposely did not write yes or no questions.

--
Julie Gardner
CollegeEssayMentor.googlepages.com

The Questionnaire
This can also be found on the website.

Plan to spend some time on this. Write thoughtful answers to these questions. They are not in any particular order, and not all questions will apply to everyone. Feel free to write questions that apply more appropriately to you!

What are your passions? 

What occupies your thoughts when you are not required to think?

What is/are your pet project(s) -- things you must do, because if you don't, no on else will?

What are your bragging rights?

What have you done that gives you bragging rights? (awards, people saved from a burning bus, or anything in between)

Bragging rights do not necessarily come only from tangible awards.

Identify some turning points. 

In your entire life as far back as you can remember (stay away from stuff that you only know about because your mom told you), identify a turning point and explain its significance.  This can be answered multiple times.

What was the last book you read (required or for pleasure)? Tell me at least one thing you gained from it.

Sometimes we are forced to choose between two good things. Think back as far as you can remember (or as recently as today) and identify a time where you had two good choices. What were they, which did you choose, and why?

What inspires you?

Where is your thinking place? Why? 

What do you do for peace and quiet? Why?

In a perfect world, children are polite and obedient.  In a perfect world all music would be perfectly in tune. In a perfect world snow would shovel itself. In a perfect world there would be no idiots on the freeway. In a perfect world... Wait! These are glimpses into my perfect world. But what does your perfect world look like?

What is your hardest class? What is your most exciting class? Are your hardest and most exciting classes the same? Why or why not?

Who inspires you? 

Who is your favorite relative? Why? (Mine is my cousin Peter who has a knack for subtle insults that I actually appreciate.)

Think of a teacher, leader, fictional character, or relative that has inspired you. Who is it and why were they inspiring?